She tells Marie Claire, "At the beginning of my career, I used to have panic attacks. People were touching me, screaming -- it made me really nervous. In public, I just get nervous. It's a physical reaction, feeling like the walls are closing in. The fans are great. It's not their fault. I don't ever want to come across as ungrateful. But on my end, it is hard for me to process. Because I am still just me."Carrie Underwood is not a hugger. She tells Marie Claire, "I'm not a mushy person at all. We were never a huggy family. Or a 'let's talk it out' family. Technically I have siblings, but they are quite a bit older than me. I was the accident, so I have the only-child syndrome going on. I'm a little more selfish, a little more independent, a little closed. I do wish I were softer. I wish I were able to form relationships better. But hey, I mean, I'm not a sociopath."She adds, ''I don't feel old enough to have kids. I know I am mature. But being responsible for another human?''