It's time the guys got taken care of. But in a very manly sort of way. Don't worry--we won't tell anyone.

Guys, I'm seeing your eyes glaze over now: man pampering? Are you effing kidding me?! Men don't need pampering! Men get pampered by lifting heavy objects! Hitting balls with sticks! Driving really fast! Barbecueing giant cuts of meat you caught with your bare hands!

Ok, but come on. You know you secretly wish you could go somewhere where your feet could get rubbed, your back massaged, your unibrow fixed and your hair cut to look less tradge. And while there's plenty of "happy ending" massage joints around town (for the right price), you'd like to be able to do all that legally.

And you can. We went on the Great Man-Pampering Hunt and discovered, hidden here and there all over SoCal, places where you can go to get treated right, get a hot towel shave and a neck massage and maybe even a little manscaping, all in a place that'll make you feel like you're in a BOYS ONLY! NO GIRLS ALLOWED! tree fort.

Because nothing attracts the ladies more than a well-manscaped neck and the lack of unibrow. Yes indeedy.

Sorry, we couldn't include those "other" massage joints on our list, but ours are better because the place won't get raided by the police while you're there, which is really hard to explain to your wife when you call her to bail you out.